Speech B

Thank you for the warm welcome. My name is Andy Pokrivnak, and I am running for School President. I thought the fact that I’m standing here speaking to you gave it away, but I figured I’d clarify things just in case.

Now that the formalities are over, let’s move on-----You don’t know me. It was the title of one of the best books in last years English Festival. It also applies to this very moment. I’m about as recognizable as the freshman in row D, seat 8.

There is a reason you don’t know me. Actually, there are many reasons. I feel we should enumerate them, but in tribute to the Romans, we will enumerate them with roman numerals.

I. I have run for class representative 3 years in a row, Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior. I have yet to be elected. If more people signed up for representative this year, and if I was a betting man, I would bet that I wouldn’t be elected this year either.

II. You might actually know me, but you know me better as Farva. The lovable and laughable cop from the 2001 hit film Super Troopers.

III. You also might know me as the kid that is at the school until the wee hours of night over the winter, because of Speech practice being obscenely long.

IV. You also might know me as the kid that wears sunglasses non-stop, and at this moment has severe ‘raccoon’ eyes from wearing sunglasses all day at Cedar Point on Saturday, and received no tan on that part of his face.

V. Lastly, although I don’t see it myself, you might know me as bearing a slight resemblance to the Main characters in Pixar’s hit animated film Shrek.

Ok, now that we know each other, or at least now that you know me, let’s get the show on the road. The Freshman are sitting over there trying to figure out what is going on, and what the purpose of this is, but most of all why we are on a rally schedule without a rally. The sophomores have been through this before, but they still don’t see the point. So they are probably trying to be rebels, with a couple having alreadyh left school, and the rest are probably talking to their friends. Then the juniors are wondering why I’m up here (technically down here, but let’s not get technical) talking at all since they all know who they are voting for and it isn’t me.

I have nothing more to say. I can’t promise you anything. I can’t say I’m going to make the dress code better if I’m elected. I can’t say I’m going to get pop back in the cafeteria, and I can’t say that I’m going to do a better job than this year’s officers did. But I can say that if elected, I CAN do everything to the best of my abilities, and I will listen to everyone and take every suggestion seriously, even if it is to replace paper towels with tomatoes, because while not practical, it would certainly be comedy gold. If you want more out of your president than that, then feel free to circle the name of Jenna, Dana, or Chris. I don’t expect to win, having lost 3 times already, but they say good things happen to those who wait.